Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Mom Time

Today I want to share something very real with you. Something that may get swept under the rug frequently and forgiven often. Something we are entitled to because we are raising humans.
MOM TIME. If you can't remember the last time you took some, you are probably not taking enough.

I realized today that I probably don't get enough of this mom time. Luis stayed with the boys while I went to run some errands. By the third place I had been to I already felt anxiety for leaving the boys so long. I missed them like crazy and on the way home I literally burst into tears picturing their sweet faces. I got home and they were screaming and cheering with excitement that I was home. I grabbed Eli and hugged him and kissed him like I hadn't seen him in years! Josiah quickly felt jealous so I scooped him in the other arm. I felt relief to be back with my boys and that anxiety I had felt earlier suddenly left my body. 

I told Luis later on how I had felt and he looked at me and said, "That's not normal." I agreed with him. It's not normal. I am so used to being with my kids all day and night that going on errands for a few hours gives me anxiety! I'm sure that it can be tied into some sort of co-dependency. I also know going to the doctor for something like this would probably make them prescribe me some sort of anti depressant, but unless it's really severe I think I can try to fix it on my own. I just need more mom time. I need to set aside time for myself without the kids needing something from me every second. I think as moms we become accustomed to being needed every hour of the day that we forget to take time for ourselves. 

The thing is "mom time" can be hard to find when you have nobody to watch the kids. When they are also codependent on you. When you just have no time for time! However it is necessary, so I came up with some ideas of things I can do for mom time (dad will have to be the stand in for some of these):

1. Read a book alone while I drink my coffee in the morning. Even if it's only a half hour while Mickey is on.

2. Go shopping once a week by myself. Nothing feels better than buying milk alone am I right!

3. Dinner and a movie with another mom friend. While we talk about those kids all night.

4. An old movie and some tea at home one night. (Don't judge me, I like this movie!)

5. Going for a run alone. This could help clear my thoughts while I also get in shape!

6. Pick up a new hobby. I have been dying to take some sort of cooking or DIY class.

7. Date night with the hubby. Obviously sometimes it's hard to go on date night when you can't find someone to watch your kids. Recently some friends and I decided to start trading date nights and watching each other's kids on those nights.

8. Prayer. I have to be honest, lately I don't spend enough time with God as I should. With all the things we do throughout the day sometimes that one on one time gets rescheduled. Yes, I pray with the kids every night and read them bible stories, but I am not spending that quality alone time my soul needs to get through life. I know the minute I get back on track with my prayer schedule and bible time my anxiety fades away. Time with God always seems to make everything better.

What about you? Are you getting enough mom time? Tell me what you do in the comments below!

Hoy quiero compartir algo muy real con usted. Algo que puede ser arrastrado debajo de la alfombra con frecuencia y perdonado a menudo. Algo que les corresponde porque estamos creando seres humanos. Tiempo de Mama.Si no puedes recordar la ultima ves que lo tomaste, no lo tomas suficiente. 

Realice que probablemente yo no lo tomo suficiente. Luis se quedó con los niños, mientras que fui a hacer unos mandados. Ya por el tercer mandado me sentía ansiosa por dejar a los niños tanto tiempo. Los extrañaba, y en el camino a casa me puse a llorar, literalmente, imaginaba las caras dulces y me sentí mal. Llegué a casa y estaban gritando de contentos que yo estaba en casa. Agarré a Eli y lo abracé y lo besé como si no lo había visto en años! Josiah rápidamente sintió celos, así que lo agarré en el otro brazo. Sentí un alivio volver a estar con mis hijos y la ansiedad que había sentido anteriormente de repente se fue de mi cuerpo.

Le dije a Luis después de cómo me había sentido y él me miró y dijo: "Eso no es normal." Yo estaba de acuerdo con él. No es normal. Estoy tan acostumbrado a estar con mis hijos todo el día y la noche que al hacer mandados sola durante unas horas me da ansiedad! Estoy segura de que puede estar vinculado a algún tipo de co-dependencia. También sé que ir al médico para algo como esto probablemente haría que ellos me receten algún tipo de antidepresivo, pero a menos que sea realmente grave creo que puedo tratar de controlar por mi cuenta. Sólo necesito más tiempo de mamá. Tengo que reservar un tiempo para mí misma sin que los niños necesiten algo de mí cada segundo.

La cosa es "tiempo de mamá" puede ser difícil de encontrar cuando se tiene a nadie que cuide a los niños. Cuando también son co-dependientes en usted ellos también. Cuando no hay tiempo para el tiempo! Sin embargo, es necesario, por lo que tengo algunas ideas de cosas que puedo hacer con mi tiempo de madre (papa va a tener que remplazareme en estos tiempos):

1. Leer un libro sola mientras tomo mi café por la mañana. Por lo menos media hora mientras miran Mickey Mouse.

2. Ir de compras sola una ves a la semana. Nada se siente mejor que comprar leche a solas verdad?!

3. Salir a cenar y ver una película con una amiga también mama. Para hablar toda la noche de los chicos!

4. Un te y una película en casa por la noche. (No me juzgues, esta película me gusta.)

5. Salir a correr sola. Esto no solo me de claridad de pensamiento pero también me ayuda a mantener mi figura!

6. Recoger un hobby nuevo. He estado queriendo tomar una clase de cocina o aprender un oficio nuevo.

7. Salir con el esposo una noche. Obviamente a veces es difícil ir cuando no se puede encontrar a alguien que cuide a los niños. Recientemente, algunos amigos y yo decidimos empezar un intercambio de salidas. Las noches de salida la otra pareja cuida a los niños.

8. Oración. Tengo que ser honesta, últimamente no paso suficiente tiempo con Dios como debería. Con todas las cosas que hacemos a lo largo del día a veces el tiempo de uno a uno se re programa. Sí, yo oro con los niños todas las noches y los leo historias de la biblia, pero no estoy pasando calidad de tiempo a solas que mi alma ocupa para vivir. Sé que cuando ponga de nuevo en marcha mi horario de la oración y de la biblia mi ansiedad se desvanece. Tiempo con Dios siempre parece hacer todo mejor.

¿Y tu, estás recibiendo suficiente tiempo de mamá? Dime lo que haces para hacerlo en los comentarios!


  1. Great post--it's so important to take time for yourself and it really is a good thing to model that behavior to the kids. They need to know that it's ok to be without Mom for a while.

    1. I agree. Just like they need their time alone to play. Thanks for reading!

  2. This was much needed for me to read, mama! Thank you! I'm a sahm, and I don't think people quite understand the co-dependency (I've never heard it put that way, but it's so true!) I do think I can implement a few things into my week to keep myself sane. Thank you! xo

    1. I am so glad it was useful to you. I hope you are taking your much needed mom time!

  3. I wholeheartedly understand. I find it so difficult to find time for "me" unless I physically go somewhere without the boys which is really hard to do. I have to agree that I'm right there with ya', my spiritual life needs a serious intervention - when I make more time for prayer, the peace finds me. <3

    1. So true. I tend to handle tantrums better when I have some prayer time.

  4. Thank you for this post and being transparent! And thank you for the reminder! I too have to get back to spending more and more time with GOD. When I don't, I feel like I am missing something.

    1. I tend to slowly start finding the bad in everything. Sounds awful I know, but when I seek God the time with him gives me grace to see the good.

  5. Until now, I never thought of prayer as mom time, but it is. We need the aloneness with God. Thank you for the reminder.

    1. Of course it's always good to teach them, but we need to lead them to God by example.

  6. I definitely need to take more mom time! I think I have time available for this but I don't always use it wisely.

  7. I definitely can relate to this! It's very hard sometimes for us moms to realize that some time alone is necessary. I sometimes go out with my sisters and it's the best thing ever, we shop and go to a restaurant to eat and it feels great! I do tend to talk about my kids a lot but I guess that's just a mom thing :)

    1. That sounds so nice! I haven't spent alone time with my sister in a while and I need it!


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