The Importance of Siblings

Thursday, February 18, 2016


Before getting pregnant with my second baby, Luis and I had decided on no more kids. Abram was a great baby and he fulfilled our baby needs. As a family of 3 life seemed easy. There was no problem finding a babysitter, going to the store was easy, and responsibilities for one child were not that draining.


When Abram was nearly 3 I found out I was pregnant again. It was not very welcomed by either one of us. I feel bad saying it, but we were not that thrilled. I kept feeling that I was robbing Abram of our time with him and that he was now going to have to share me with another child. At the time guilt really killed me. It crossed my mind a few times that this second child would, perhaps not be as loved as the first.

The time came for this baby to arrive and I immediately fell in love with Eli. I couldn't get enough of the kid! His smell was heavenly and his skin was softer than cotton balls. I just loved him, and to my surprise so did Abram. His big brother instinct kicked in the minute we brought him home and he did not allow for too many people to touch him, smell him or even look at him. I was very proud of his behavior. We had coached him for months about being a big brother and how he had to be gentle with the new baby, but Abram was a natural. He would get concerned when Eli cried. He helped fetch the diapers and wipes.  He spoke to him in a cute little voice, we were just amazed. I can not recall a time where I felt like Abram was jealous of the new baby, he did so great.



Fun fact: Eli was born on Thanksgiving Day that year. Luis was on leave from the day he was born until the second week of January. We spent the whole holiday season in baby bliss and I really feel like it actually made our little family closer.

When we saw how strong the bond with Abram and Eli was I told Luis I wanted to have another. I just couldn't bare to see my boys not have, at least one more sibling! I grew up with a full house and so did Luis, so naturally it seemed unfair for the boys not to have a mediator for when they had a fight or someone else to play with when they got sick of each other. I also mentioned to Luis that what if something happened to us- they would only have each other and that also seemed unfair to me. ( I tend to think of the worst possible scenario! Haha)



We finally agreed on trying for #3! After a heartbreaking miscarriage we were grateful for Josiah. Our family felt complete.


Over the last few months Abram and Eli have gotten even closer. They do everything together. When Abram goes to the bathroom, Eli goes too. If Abram is playing legos, Eli plays too. Eli wakes up every morning to see Abram off to school and waits anxiously for his return. If I show up to pick up Abram from school alone his first question is, "Where's Eli?" 
Their bond makes me so extremely happy. I know they have a forever friend with each other. They do have many disagreements throughout the day, I mean my living room turns into a boxing rink at least once a day! They say their mean things to each other, Eli's new phrase of preference is, "you're a dummy!" After a few minutes in timeout they are back to being superheros and sidekicks.
They are both so loving to Josiah and protect him from everything they possibly can. Eli smothers him with kisses all day! Today in fact, Abram noticed Josiah picked something up from the floor and put it in his mouth. He jumped to get it out of his mouth and low and behold it was a worm!!! I was so disgusted, but if Abram wouldn't have caught that, Josiah might have swallowed it.



My advice to the parents on the fence about having another child is to go for it! I can't stress enough how important it is for your child to have a companion who will understand them, maybe not all the time, but most of the time. If you raise them with the mentality to love each other dearly, they will. 

My parents used to tell my siblings and I that family was the most important thing. That the pain of one should be the pain of the other, likewise the happiness of one should be the happiness of the other. I know we all carry that with us till this day. I couldn't have gone through life without my siblings. I have the funniest bunch of brothers and sisters ever. They have shared my highs and my lows. My brothers have always made me feel loved and protected. My sisters and I still get together every Sunday for afternoon coffee to laugh it up and just enjoy each others company. 

If it is possible for you to have more than one child, don't even think twice about it. Your kids will have no problem with it, I assure you. You won't be robbing them of one on one time with you, you will be gifting them a best and forever friend!

How do you feel about it, siblings or no siblings? Share in the comments below!

20 comments:

  1. How sweet!
    I never had siblings and I didn't really mind but I'd love to have two kids so that they can grow up together and always have someone to play with.

    xoxo, Jenny

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    1. I hope you do, being a mother is so fun! But enjoy yourself to the max until they come!!

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  2. I never had siblings im an only child so i alwyas call close friends my brother and sister

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    1. I'm so glad you had someone to grow up with. Thanks for stopping by!

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  3. I totally agree! My husband was content with just one child, but I couldn't imagine my son not having a sibling. Well, to our surprise, he got 2...twins. I think they will all be great friends some day...at least I hope. They are already starting to play together a lot better.

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    1. That's good. You'll see they become closer as time goes on.

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  4. I agree with this whole post! I am not a parent yet, but Dave and I will absolutely have at least two kids, if we end up choosing to have kids. I grew up with a brother I was incredibly close to. My mom has 7 siblings she is super close to, and their kids are like my siblings as well. I honestly can't imagine growing up as an only child.

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    1. I'm so glad you do. I hope you can experience it for yourself, but if not that's ok too. I imagine if I didn't have kids I would love to travel!

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  5. Yes, I can't imagine a child actually feeling like they wish they had fewer siblings! I'm a big sister to 6 little siblings, and every single one of them is immeasurably precious to me. Sure, we fight sometimes but I'm so grateful they exist!

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    1. Of course! I'm glad you agree. Thanks so much for reading!

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  6. I was so happy with my one child. But, we realized that we were her playmate always. She couldn't entertain herself and she was getting lonely. My husband gently told me, it was time for a second. Our kids are 4.5 years apart! But they get a long, play together, fight often, but love each other to death. :)

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    1. I'm sure they will be close as they get older. I'm glad your husband was able to open up to you about having 1 more. Your family is beautiful. xo

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  7. I always knew I wanted my kids to have siblings. I think siblings share such a wonderful bond...sometimes!!! My sister and I are thick as thieves and there is a 10 year age difference between us. Your kids are beautiful by the way!

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    1. Wow 10 years and you're still thick as thieves!? That's great! I love hearing stories like yours. Thanks for reading!

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  8. Awww your kids are so adorable!! Love how Abram and Eli are bonding and I couldn't agree more, siblings are the best gift your parents can give you ever!
    xx, Kusum | www.sveeteskapes.com

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    1. Thank you! You are so sweet. I appreciate the comment.

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  9. These are such great photos! I love how you describe the bond of siblings! I can see the bond between my two but my Eli is still (awkwardly) learning how to play with his brother. It's funny though because I can see them already sticking up for each other if one gets in trouble. :) I always tell my husband (who is an only child) that family is the best thing. It might be hard now but I just love the idea of having family holidays and get togethers when they are older.

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    1. Yes! It get's so tough when they all need something at once, but I know it's temporary and I will miss this stage in a few years. Thanks for reading! xo

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  10. Aww adorable photos! I have a son, and my husband and I plan on having more kids so he don't feel alone growing up. Coming from a big family, I enjoy my siblings so much and I want the same thing for my child too. You have a beautiful family :)

    Mischelle
    http://www.nowthatschic.com

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    1. Thank you so much! I hope you and your family can experience more kiddos, I'm sure you won't regret it!

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