This time of year is a bit bittersweet for me. I love love love Christmas and the holiday season, but around this time last year I was finding out news that would change my family's life forever.
I remember feeling different than when I was pregnant with the boys and in my mind I just thought it might be because this time it would be a girl. I had extreme fatigue all the time. I was cold all the time. I had no cravings. I was happy pretty much all the time. My skin was clearer. I gained weight in my hips. None of these were things that occurred in my previous pregnancies. I was 100% believing this little angel was a girl.
As I laid on the sonogram table waiting for the technician to say it, to say those magical words I had been waiting to hear, she didn't. "It looks like a boy," she said smiling. Now before you think of what a horrible parent I am because I wanted a girl instead of adding a boy to our 2 at home, let me explain my raw reasoning. I was so scared I could not love another boy like I loved Abram and Eli. I thought there was absolutely no way my heart was big enough. However, if it was a girl, it would somehow balance out and she would most likely be more attached to Luis by nature. Most girls just prefer to snuggle daddy. I was more attached to my dad than my mom. Luis was more connected with his mom than his dad. Abram and Eli did an okay job sharing me, one hanging from each leg, but there was no way I could manage 3 boys. God had other plans.
I laid silent as she continued to look at the screen. I saw the look of pride in Luis' eyes. He had always known it was a boy. The technician got up and said she would have the doctor read the results in a few min. When they returned I saw the look on the doctor's face and felt a strange feeling in my chest. He went on to explain that the boy had a condition called Clubfoot and asked if I would like to terminate my pregnancy. Honestly, I felt an overwhelming desire to protect my baby boy and kick the doctor in the face for even asking that. I kept my composure and quickly said no. I don't want to bore those who have read the rest of this story in one of my previous posts, but if you would like to read the rest click here.
This happened a year ago. I felt like my world was over, but here I am a year later so happy and full of life. I owe all this happiness to God for giving me the gift of my beautiful baby boy Josiah Salomon. I thought I couldn't love another and boy was I wrong. I am completely head over heals for this kid. I will admit he has me wrapped around his little fingers.
I love Josiah so much. I am so proud that he is my son. I even stare at him, still now that he is already 7 months, and think "I am so lucky to be your mother." I look at his feet and think, "They are so perfect!" Now I know every mother looks at her child and thinks these kind of things, but with Josiah I don't just think them I believe them with every bone in my body. I truly am lucky to be his mother because his clubfoot diagnoses has taught me and is still teaching me to appreciate every little detail about my children, something I didn't always do before Josiah's birth. And his feet, they truly are perfect. His doctors, myself and Luis have made sure of that. To think everything my child has endured brings tears to my eyes. Some of those tears of sadness and some of happiness to know we have made it through the hardest part.
This will be Josiah's first Christmas and we want to make it special and memorable. He is such a happy baby boy. We could not be prouder of his accomplishments.
I will be taking the week off from blogging to spend with my precious boys and hubby. May you have a memorable Christmas with your family and loved ones.
To give the gift of clubfoot treatment to a child in need please visit here. Thank You!