I know this is not my usual kind of post, but lately I have noticed a lot of Hollywood couples getting divorced and it has inspired me to write this post in hopes that we can manage not to follow in their footsteps!
First I want to start by saying nobody is perfect and no relationship is perfect. Marriage or any relationship, in fact, takes time and commitment to work. If you are not committed to your marriage, then it's really not going to work or you will both be unhappy. I have been with my husband 11 years, married for 6. We have been through really rough patches where it became really dark and we saw no light at the end of the tunnel, but our commitment was there and we made every effort and jumped through every hoop to keep trying and we are so glad we did. Our marriage is stronger than ever, but it really took these 6 things to get to where we are today.
- Prayer- When Luis and I were in a tough time in our marriage, I prayed every day and night for God to take control of the situation. I can't emphasize enough how much this helped us and it is something I have not stopped doing since. I pray for God to guide us in every stage of our marriage and for us to always treat each other with love and respect. Pray for your marriage, trust me God listens.
- Communication- This is such an important factor in a marriage. You choose to share your life with this person when you marry them, so make sure you really are sharing your life. Talk about everything under the sun. Tell them about every detail of your day, don't leave anything out. Share your hopes and dreams! Share your fears. Talk about what bothers you, what makes you happy. The more you talk about everything, the more it will just become second nature to you and you'll find you can't wait to tell your spouse even about finding a penny on the floor. Don't hide anything, make sure you leave everything out in the open. Communication establishes such a strong bond in a marriage, you really do become best friends.
- Have Fun- This ties in with communication. When we talk, it's not boring for us, we don't sound like robots, it's not forced, its natural. I am myself around him and he is himself around me. I can honestly say we are laughing most of the day at our house. Luis is so funny! If you can't let loose and have fun with your spouse than who can you do it with!? They are the one person in the world you should enjoy being around the most and not feel judged in any way. Play a game, crack jokes, pick up a couple's hobby, anything, but make sure at the end of the day you look back and say, "That was fun!"
- Make The Time- This also goes hand in hand with having fun. Make the time for your spouse. Put away your electronics and spend some quality time together. If you don't have kids this should be easy! If you do have kids, put the kids to bed early and have an at home date night or get a sitter and go out! The point is spend some one on one time with the honey having fun and communicating! I can't tell you how many times Luis and I stay up for hours on end just talking and laughing about anything and everything. No matter how tired we are in the morning we both feel it was worth it. These are precious moments that will build your bond.
- Focus On The Positive- Sometimes we fall victim to remembering past things that might have hurt us or made us upset. We can't focus on the future of our marriage if we are stuck in the past. If you forgave them, then forgive them and let it go. Do not keep bringing it up, because it will be like termites. It will keep eating and eating at you until one day you fall apart. Focus on the positive things they've done, appreciate them for those things and vocalize it. Acknowledge the small things they do for you like taking out the trash or renting that movie you've been wanting to see. Trust me it's not worth it to hold on to resentment. Just let it go and focus on your positive future!
- Support Each Other- I have so many goals in my life, dreams I want to achieve, challenges to conquer, and no matter how unrealistic they may seem, Luis always encourages me to go after them. Likewise I do the same for him, we are each other's #1 fan. In a marriage it is very important to support each other and encourage them, never bring them down or make them feel belittled for even thinking it. It is our job to always encourage and nurture our spouse and if their dream doesn't work out in the end, be there to give them a high five for trying.
So there they are! I really hope these tips help a marriage out there the way they have helped us! Let me know what you think or what has worked for you in the comments below. Have a great day!